[day 12: brothers]

sooooo, i just got off the phone with my mom,
and i have to share the cutest story.

as a family, we've been trying to plan a really fun spring break.
we thought that my vacation and my little brother's vacations lined up,
but they don't. [sadness] my mom told my brothers that today,
and they all [individually] told her that they didn't want to do something
new if i couldn't come. mind you, my brother are 16, 14, and 10 years old

at their ages, you'd think they wouldn't
really care if their older college sister
would be able to come on a family vacation.
but, mine do.

i feel so loved today, by them and my parents.
i cannot even begin to tell them
[and you]
how much i love them.
they put off personal fun time
so that i could still be a part of it.

jake, colin, and jaxon,

i love you three more then 

you will ever. understand.

as you guys have gotten older,
it's been so much fun to see you grow
[i know i sound like a parent]

jake, when you got your license,
went hot tubbing with friends,
and went on your first date,
i had a little bit of heart failure.

colin, when you stood next to me
a couple weeks ago, and only had a
couple of inches to go until you were
as tall as me, i didn't even know what to do.

jaxon, when i hear your stories of
your adventures and all about the
girls chasing you around the playground,
i can't help but smile, because its exactly
what i expected from you.

you are the sweetest boys ever,
and you all make me feel so loved.
when i leave our house on sundays,
i cry [every time] thinking that i'm
leaving the people that i love the most.
we've laughed, cried, fought, worked,
talked, and grown together, and i can't
imagine my life any other way.

this is a shout out to all of the family
members that you love, and that i love.
make sure they know it!

I LOVE JAKE, COLIN, JAXON,
DEANNA, AND SCOTT
[more then anything in the world.]

over and out

[day 9-11: lessons]

throughout life, we all have to learn lessons.
and those lessons are hard.
real hard.

we start by learning how to crawl.
then, we walk, run, sprint, and fall.
we talk, giggle, cry, scream and whisper.

we read, write, multiply, divide, memorize, and forget.

we learn, discover, explore, and sometimes,

we get a little lost.

right now, i'm learning some really hard lessons.
figuring out how to handle adult things like
getting my oil changed,
taking responsibility for religion,
developing a person budget,
or setting the record straight about
who i am.

i'm learning how to stand my ground [quietly]
how to perform tasks [individually]
how to find peace [personally]

i'm learning all of these things, and i'm processing it
one day at a time.
i will only continue to learn...
these are vital things to learn for a happy, fulfilled life.

however, to me, there are lessons that i'm currently
learning that can't be taught in a classroom.
as we get older, we [hopefully] learn how to interact with others.
we learn how to share love, and be loved in return.
we learn where we came from, where we are now, and where we're going.
we learn of our true potential as people.
we learn that we are truly never alone, no matter how lonely we feel.

simply put, we are all constantly learning about
the amazing world around us, and about the
astounding abilities we each possess.

as [cliche] as it sounds...
there is a spark in each of us that no one else has.
there are things that we can each bring to a group.
there are lessons that we personally
need to become the best people we can be.
and those lessons are so important.

hopefully we don't take them for granted,
hopefully we can take them as they are, and learn.

that's what they're for, right??

[day 8: smiles]

last week, i was zoning out,
walking to class.
there was this cute guy sitting
on the floor, and he looked up
at me and said,
"pretty face like yours should have a smile on it."
and i broke out in a smile from ear to ear.
i couldn't help it!

but, it got me thinking.....
weird thing, smiling.
don't get me wrong.
i love to smile
[i've got smile lines and i'm 19]
it's crazy what a smile can do for you though
when someone smiles at you,
or you smile at someone,

you can't help but smile back, right?

well, i can't help but smile back.
but who would've ever thought
that something as simple as moving
a couple of muscles in your face could
cause so much happiness
[for you and others]

when i get a smile from someone,
it's a bright spot in my day
i'll probably remember that
[smile] the rest of the day.
my favorite smiles:
smiles from a baby
smiles at a wedding
smiles from someone you love
smiles from your family
smiles from your grandparents
smiles from your friends
smiles from someone you don't even know

my very favorite though,
are those that come from yourself.

the genuine smiles that come way down from your toes
all the way up to your lips
and stretch to your ears!
simply put.....i love smiling.
just remember to share yours.
you never know who is going to need it!

[day 7: growing up]

this picture is the simplest way to put my thoughts into words.
today, i was talking with my roommates,
and we realized that this time last year, we were
having our interviews to get into the leadership
program that we are a part of right. now.

this has been one of the most life-changing years of my life.
this time last year, i was a senior in high school having the time of my life.
this time last year, my world was so much smaller then it is right now
[it will only continue to grow]
this time last year, i didn't [personally] know a single person that
was getting married. i now know five-ish.
this time last year, the idea of moving away made me cry!
[sometimes, it still does]
this time last year, i was so different.

but, different is a good thing.
i will only continue to change as i get older
and have new experiences. so will everyone
else that i know. people will leave, come back,
get married, and in about 10 years,
not one person will be the same.

at that point, i will be [almost] completely grown up.
which kind of freaks me out.
i'll be done with school, [hopefully] be married,
possibly with a couple kids, my brothers will be on missions,
and i will be [completely] different from what
i am right. now.

weird thought.
even weirder, thinking of my life 10 years ago.
ha! i was 9 years old. just a little girl.
now, i'm officially considered an adult,
even though i don't truly consider myself one.
i don't know if i will ever consider myself one.

but, i do know, no matter how old i am,
i will still call my mom every day.
i will still consider myself daddy's girl
even the thought of my parents will
bring [happy] tears to my eyes.
the thought of my brothers will make me bawl,
and watching my grandparents will make me cry.
[all happy tears]

growing up is necessary, it's a great thing.
i'm just taking it one day at a time.
[phew]

i want to enjoy every. single. second of it.
[growing up included]
hopefully you all love your lives as much as i do.
over and out.

[day 6: fixing]

have you ever heard the song by coldplay? says something like "lights will guide you home, and i will try to fix you" [i think it's actually called fix you] well, i've decided something. the only person that can truly do the fixing is yourself. sometimes you wander around, trying to figure out what to do and how to do it. sometimes, you do it for others.

it could be to satisfy your
friends,
parents,
girlfriend,
boyfriend,
or bestfriend.

maybe a little piece of it is to satisfy yourself.
but, eventually, the drive to satisfy
another's needs is overridden by the
drive of self-satisfaction.
which is an amazing thing!
for me, self-satisfaction [not to be confused with selfishness]
is the driving force behind a lot of things.

where i am right now in my life
the only thing i really need to be doing is
worrying about doing the best things for myself.
learning to do them by myself.
that is what college is for.
not only do you gain a higher education from your books,
you gain a higher education of yourself.
which is what i'm working on right now!

this is a little shout out to all of you who
have realized that you should start doing things for
yourself. that you need to improve yourself
for the right reasons.

i sincerely believe that if you are actively working to improve yourself into the best version of you that you can be, then things will just start falling into place. not that they will become easier, but that life will start working together better.

for those working towards the best versions of yourselves, keep your chin up. keep fixing yourself to become the best you! i'm right there with you. just remember who loves you!
and remember what you're working towards....
yourself.

[day 5: ppps]

p: powder
p: president's day
p: p90x
s: success

let me tell ya...today was a powder-packed prime day of president's day
snowboarding. success? most. definitely. along with that, i decided i am
going to start p90x with my little brother.

[buns and thighs, and apparently everything else. whoohoo!]

not only did i get to go snowboarding with my adorable family,
i met beautiful liza young up there. along with werner, joe and daniel.
the snow was [perfect] the people were [fabulous] and the whole day
was completely [perfectly peachy] i cannot love snowboarding
any more then i do. right. now.

back to p90x. i've done a couple of the workouts right?
not in any type of successive order, but i have done them.
well, let me tell ya, doing a different one every day is killer.
i only did it for two days [just for a little test run]
because jake started last week, and i was pretty sure
i was going to loose limbs, i was so sore.

but...i cannot complain.
it's a good feeling to know i'm putting
this body of mine to work.
i've decided the hardest thing about
completing an exercise program
is exactly that: completing it.

sticking to something that is as long
as p90x is going to be hard.
but, i like challenges.
hard things are good things!!
this, is going to be a hard thing.
and i am pumped.

not only for p90x, but for my life in general.
today, i turned over a new leaf in my life.
new colors, new outlook, new...everything!
[just about, anyway]

in the words of dr. seuss, "[i've] got brains in [my] head.
[i've] got feet in [my] shoes. [i] can steer [myself] in any
direction [i] choose [i'm] on my own, and [i] know what
[i] know. [i'm] the [girl] who'll decide where to go."

brillant man, that mr. seuss.
ppps. over and out.

[day 4: gratitude]

you know those days when there’s something you need to hear? 

well, today was one of those days. i went to church 

[mind you, it was the first complete session i've been to in a little bit] 

i got to relief society, and it was exactly what i needed to hear. 

for a lot of things going on in my life right now.  

then, i get home, we get dinner going and we all start to talk. 

dinner is over, and it’s just jake, my mom and i
at the table. we talked for about an hour, 

and it couldn’t have been any more needed.

ah! how great is family? how great is church?! 

[let me answer that for you…so great!]

today, my post is more about gratitude than anything. i am so so 

grateful for the wonderful teachers that i have in my singles ward. 

i can say they are put in the positions they are for a reason. today, i was 

[one of] the reasons. i couldn’t be more grateful for that! 

i am also so grateful for an amazingly insightful mother, who tells me exactly what i need to hear, every. single. time. we talk. she knows how to answer my questions, she’s been through what i’m currently processing, and it is one of the best things in the entire world! 

she helps me put my best foot forward, and [cheesy, i know] but it always leaves a little mark on my heart my mom knows how to help me get where i need to be. hopefully i can [eventually] do the same for her.

and hopefully, we can all recognize that we have a lot to be grateful for. 

i, for one, have been given the very best family, for me. 

to have them as my foundation is exactly

what i need to become the best person i can be.

think about it—for me to even have a computer 

to write on, and to know how to use it, and be fluent

and literate enough in the language i’ve been taught to be able

to write this little post, is amazing! realistically, there are very 

few people that have the [so-called] simple pleasures that we

all enjoy on a regular basis.

today, with it being sunday, i am also very lucky to be within driving distance to the church of my choice. i am so blessed to have clothes to wear there, and then clothes to change into when I get home.

not only that, i have clothes to wear the next day too. how many people can actually say that? along with those clothes, i have a roof over my head, a ridiculously comfortable bed, a vehicle in the garage, and indoor plumbing. more than those things [cause if i’m being honest, things don’t really matter] i am beyond grateful to have the knowledge that i am loved. by many many people. and those people that love me are ones that i love back.

i truly think that humans just need to love
and feel loved in return,
and that is what i am grateful for today.

feel the love ya’ll.

happy sunday!

[day 3: fire brigade]

well...i had [quite] the experience today. let me tell you a little story.
so, family and i get back after being out together, and i'm the first to walk in the house.
"beeeep! beeep! beeep!!" every. alarm. is going off.
the first thing we think to do [naturally] is change the batteries.
that's the thing you usually do right?

so, we go through the house, and change every battery.
and the beeping continues, along with the blue flashing light that
tells us that we're being contaminated by carbon monoxide.
[no...not dioxide. monoxide]

not sure of what to do, we call my dad at work.
he suggests to do the things we've already done,
and that if it doesn't stop, we need to call the fire department!
to be safe, we all go out to the garage, just posting, trying to figure out
the best thing to do.
we call our furnace guy-trying to avoid the fire department-on their ad, they say 24 hours right? LIARS!
[mind you, as we're making these calls, we can now here the alarms from outside]
after sitting there a bit longer, we decide to call the fire department, just to be safe.
first call was to the alpine fire department: we get nancy's voicemail
second call was to the highland fire department: we get another voicemail
third call was to the non-emergency line of the highland police department: we [finally] get through.

my mom-again, trying to avoid a scene-tells the lady on the
other line that our carbon monoxide detectors are going a
little crazy, and she's not sure what to do. she asks if the
firemen can come, but that they keep their lights and everything [off]
because no one is hurt!

not even five minutes later, we hear all kinds of sirens tearing up the road,
to our house. we had the fire brigade at our house.
awesome huh?!

apparently, our carbon monoxide detectors were going off for
absolutely. nothing. regardless, the fire brigade was very nice!

no messing with [real] fires, or emergencies today.
stay safe my friends!!

[day 2: connections]

as a big [freshmen] colleger-i've started to notice how important connections are.
not like the "dude--hook me up with a free new car!!" connections
[if we're being honest, i don't have many-if any-of those]
i'm talking about the [deep] connections that
every. single. person. on this earth
is searching for.


walking through campus every day, i see a lot of connections being made.
hugs, hand holding, and the more than occasional kiss are shared between couples,
high-fives and hugs are shared with friends.


for some, the connection is made by asking "hey, you want a piece of my sushi?"
[never for me. if you want to make a connection with me-ask if i want your taco]

it's that connection a newborn baby has to his mother, and later, his dad.
it's the connection you get when you back together with your best friends,
and no matter how long you've been apart, absolutely nothing has changed.
it's the connection you have when someone holds your hand, and it's absolutely perfect.

it could be that connection when you dig in the dirt to plant flowers for spring 

[so excited for that. cannot even tell you]

or the very first time you perform in front of a crowd
it could even be that connection when information finally
clicks as your studying for a test. [how good is that feeling? honestly]

for a lot of people, it's a pretty simple connection they're longing for.

it could be a smile, a touch, a laugh, an eye contact.
for me, making connections with others is a really important part of my life.
i love to hear stories, experiences, jokes, things that bring that person and i together
[not trying to sound romantic-although romantic connections are pretty great]       things that we can go back to later.


as i continue my walk through life [and through uvu's campus]
i know that i will continue to make connections...
i'm excited to see where they take me!
lets get connected people.
over and out.

[day 1: beginnings]

so...i'm conforming. i have started a blog--and i feel like i have to explain myself. today, during class, i started crunching some numbers
[weird right? me and numbers...who knew]


in 365 days, i will be more than halfway through my second year of college
in 210 days, i will be turing 20 years old
in 87 days, i will have officially finished my first year of college


along with this mind-blowing realization, i thought about a couple more things...
within the next 365 days, all of my high school guy friends will be on missions
within the next 365 days, i will be going to weddings for friends
within the next 365 days, jake will be turning 17
within the next 365 days, colin will turning 15
within the next 365 days, jaxon will be turning 11
[by that time, i will have experienced heart failure three times over]
within the next 365 days, my parents will be as amazing as ever 
[for them, age is insignificant]


the goal of this blog is simple...i will write, every day, for the next year. 
this blog will be full of adventures, new understandings, and observations about my life!
it will hopefully show you more of what i'm about...
and will show me more of what i'm about.


this, it the beginning of my own social project. [yikes]
wish me luck!