[day 98-105: knowing]

you want to know what's hard for me?

knowing.
waiting.
and understanding.

because most of those don't click together
at the same time.

usually you know something,
and then you have to

wait

before you

understand

why that thing is happening to you or someone you love.

there are some hard things that are
happening in my life right now
that i don't quite understand yet.

they are happening for the right reasons,
but they are still hard.
and you know what?

no one knows where they'll be in two years.
no one knows where they'll be in one year.
no one [really] knows where they'll be in a month.

and i definitely don't know where i am going to be...
which scares me.
i know where i would like to be.

but where i want to be and where i am going to be
could be two completely different things.

and when i say no one knows where they'll be,
i'm talking about on a
physical
emotional
spiritual
or mental level.

life is a huge combination of all of those things.
and it's hard. real hard.

understanding why some things go the way they do is hard.
but it is a part of life that eventually creates
beauty and hope and closure....
and possibly create other opportunities down the road.

and maybe these things i'm currently experiencing
are things i'm not supposed to
understand yet.

i know it'll work out eventually.
and it will work out the way that its supposed to.

i've just got to wait.
patiently...

over and out.