[day 17-18: honesty]

"tryin to be perfect, tryin not to let you down...
honesty is honestly the hardest for me right now."
[who's heard that song?]

how important is honesty? honestly. [no pun intended]
really, without honesty, there is no way
for us to develop interpersonal relationships
with others.

who thought of the concept of honesty though?
and who named it?
weird thought huh.

but, regardless of where [or who]
it came from, it's something that is
so important to me.
not that i enjoy people that are brutally honest.
i don't really appreciate that.
it's not that i can't take criticism,
but when people are using
honesty as a cover for being rude, ooh it kills me.

anyways [sorry, i'm distractible today]
i have been thinking about how important
honesty is to me...and why.

without honesty, no body trusts anybody.
without honesty, people become lost.
without honesty, feelings are hurt, friendships are changed.

when people are honest,
[all the time]
the relationship couldn't be better.

i love when people are honest with me,
and i hope people can say the same about me.
it is such an important part of [any]
relationship.

if you're honest, a lot of other
really good qualities
will follow.

i know that from experience...
honesty is the best policy
for everything.
practice what you preach.
be honest, be yourself, and let the rest go.

over and out.

[day 16: firsts, friends, and rum]

tonight was completely epic.

after working for my adorable neighbor,

i got a facebook text from the liza

[yes, you know who she is]

saying that she was home.

after going to four [that's right, 4]

grocery stores, we finally satisfied

everything on both of our lists.

for the first time in our lives, we attempted make a souffle.

three hours later, after several attempts, stupid eggs,

and an amazing mango sauce, we started one of the [best jokes]

that we have ever committed.

ashley, lindsey, liza, and i all [acted] completely intoxicated.

and jamie believed us.

the sauce that goes over the souffle is made with a little bit of rum,

but due to the heat, the alcohol burns out. [thankfully]

before jamie got to liza's house we all planned to randomly

start acting intoxicated after eating our souffle [with the sauce]

jamie got a text, ashley starting rocking

her bummm around the kitchen, 

and lindsay and i caught on.

i turned into the catty one, lindsay started laughing,

ashley continued to dance around

and then stopped to throw up

[not really though. we poured water into the toilet]

the night has since continued, and we've dyed 

liza's hair [which will be fixed tomorrow]

and now we're all piled on a [very] small

blowup bed, and i wouldn't have it any other way.

this is a day of firsts.

it's the first time that we've all been together since christmas

it's the first time liza and i have made a souffle

it's the first time that we've all acted intoxicated together.

[acting intoxicated will be the only thing i ever do]

it's the first memorable girls weekend i've had in so long,

and i have loved every second.

i love my [best] friends, and i want [all of] them 

to be in my life for the rest of my life.

the laughs and talks and fun times we share are priceless.

best friends are the best things to have.

over and out.

[day 14-15: california? yes please]

california, california, here i come!
[name that song]
i found out last night that
i get to go to california for
my spring break.

not only do i get to go to the wonderful
state of CA, i get to go with my best friend,
[drumroll please...]
MY MOMMA!

oh my heavens, i cannot even tell you how
excited i am. for the first time,
in the history of forever,
my mom and i get to go on our
own adventure!

we get to go to a play, [we're seeing wicked!]
and to the beach,
and wherever else we want!
and, we get a sweet piece of that
california sunshine.

i. am. pumped.
my mom, me, and an adventure.
ooh my heavens.
this is going to be epic.

you better believe there will
be pictures and enough documentation...
i've decided that my mom is a
[pathological] picturetaker.
and i'm starting to take after her
[hopefully in more ways than one]

california, here i come.
better prepare yourself.

over and out.

[day 13: hello march]

today is the first day of march.
[happiness]
i can't even begin to tell you how excited i was
when i woke up this morning to sunshine
shining through my window.
i sat in my bed, peeked through my blinds,
and smiled ear to ear.
it was thee best "good mornings" [from nature]
that i've had in a long time.

to me, march means:
sunshine
warmth [well, more of it]
new life
finals
spring time
basketball
[thee best] spring skiing
[upcoming] easter

and a whole lot of other happy things.

let me tell you, the sunshine today made my day [almost] perfect. 

not only did i get to have sunshine, i got to go to lunch with 

two of my cute friends from school. we [heart] texas roadhouse,

and the cute friends that we find there. 

[almost as much as the delicious food]

i can't wait for sunshine like i had this morning

to happen daily. i am so excited to run barefooted

through the grass, mow the lawn, get in the dirt,

have late night talks in the amazing summer nights.

drive in movies, swimming, working, hiking, biking, 

fishing [maybe], golfing [BIG maybe],

beaches, sand, and traveling [hopefully]

lots and lots of things that i want to do.

i can't wait for summertime and

all of the adventures i'm going to have.
i've just gotta get through the rest of the
school year, and finals, first. [yikes]

hello march!
i am so excited to have you here.
over and out.

[day 12: brothers]

sooooo, i just got off the phone with my mom,
and i have to share the cutest story.

as a family, we've been trying to plan a really fun spring break.
we thought that my vacation and my little brother's vacations lined up,
but they don't. [sadness] my mom told my brothers that today,
and they all [individually] told her that they didn't want to do something
new if i couldn't come. mind you, my brother are 16, 14, and 10 years old

at their ages, you'd think they wouldn't
really care if their older college sister
would be able to come on a family vacation.
but, mine do.

i feel so loved today, by them and my parents.
i cannot even begin to tell them
[and you]
how much i love them.
they put off personal fun time
so that i could still be a part of it.

jake, colin, and jaxon,

i love you three more then 

you will ever. understand.

as you guys have gotten older,
it's been so much fun to see you grow
[i know i sound like a parent]

jake, when you got your license,
went hot tubbing with friends,
and went on your first date,
i had a little bit of heart failure.

colin, when you stood next to me
a couple weeks ago, and only had a
couple of inches to go until you were
as tall as me, i didn't even know what to do.

jaxon, when i hear your stories of
your adventures and all about the
girls chasing you around the playground,
i can't help but smile, because its exactly
what i expected from you.

you are the sweetest boys ever,
and you all make me feel so loved.
when i leave our house on sundays,
i cry [every time] thinking that i'm
leaving the people that i love the most.
we've laughed, cried, fought, worked,
talked, and grown together, and i can't
imagine my life any other way.

this is a shout out to all of the family
members that you love, and that i love.
make sure they know it!

I LOVE JAKE, COLIN, JAXON,
DEANNA, AND SCOTT
[more then anything in the world.]

over and out

[day 9-11: lessons]

throughout life, we all have to learn lessons.
and those lessons are hard.
real hard.

we start by learning how to crawl.
then, we walk, run, sprint, and fall.
we talk, giggle, cry, scream and whisper.

we read, write, multiply, divide, memorize, and forget.

we learn, discover, explore, and sometimes,

we get a little lost.

right now, i'm learning some really hard lessons.
figuring out how to handle adult things like
getting my oil changed,
taking responsibility for religion,
developing a person budget,
or setting the record straight about
who i am.

i'm learning how to stand my ground [quietly]
how to perform tasks [individually]
how to find peace [personally]

i'm learning all of these things, and i'm processing it
one day at a time.
i will only continue to learn...
these are vital things to learn for a happy, fulfilled life.

however, to me, there are lessons that i'm currently
learning that can't be taught in a classroom.
as we get older, we [hopefully] learn how to interact with others.
we learn how to share love, and be loved in return.
we learn where we came from, where we are now, and where we're going.
we learn of our true potential as people.
we learn that we are truly never alone, no matter how lonely we feel.

simply put, we are all constantly learning about
the amazing world around us, and about the
astounding abilities we each possess.

as [cliche] as it sounds...
there is a spark in each of us that no one else has.
there are things that we can each bring to a group.
there are lessons that we personally
need to become the best people we can be.
and those lessons are so important.

hopefully we don't take them for granted,
hopefully we can take them as they are, and learn.

that's what they're for, right??

[day 8: smiles]

last week, i was zoning out,
walking to class.
there was this cute guy sitting
on the floor, and he looked up
at me and said,
"pretty face like yours should have a smile on it."
and i broke out in a smile from ear to ear.
i couldn't help it!

but, it got me thinking.....
weird thing, smiling.
don't get me wrong.
i love to smile
[i've got smile lines and i'm 19]
it's crazy what a smile can do for you though
when someone smiles at you,
or you smile at someone,

you can't help but smile back, right?

well, i can't help but smile back.
but who would've ever thought
that something as simple as moving
a couple of muscles in your face could
cause so much happiness
[for you and others]

when i get a smile from someone,
it's a bright spot in my day
i'll probably remember that
[smile] the rest of the day.
my favorite smiles:
smiles from a baby
smiles at a wedding
smiles from someone you love
smiles from your family
smiles from your grandparents
smiles from your friends
smiles from someone you don't even know

my very favorite though,
are those that come from yourself.

the genuine smiles that come way down from your toes
all the way up to your lips
and stretch to your ears!
simply put.....i love smiling.
just remember to share yours.
you never know who is going to need it!